Metamour, Compersion, NRE & More – the Complete Polyamory Glossary

If you are exploring polyamory and ethical non-monogamy for the first time, it can feel like learning a new language. Metamour, compersion, NRE, polycule – the terms come at you from all directions. This glossary explains the most important ones clearly and in order, so you can keep track.

We have grouped the terms into four categories: relationship structures, people and roles, feelings and dynamics, and agreements and concepts.

Relationship structures

Polyamory (poly): The consensual practice of having multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, with everyone involved being aware.

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM): An umbrella term for all relationship styles that are not consciously limited to one person and that consider the needs of everyone involved. Also known as consensual non-monogamy (CNM).

Open relationship: A relationship in which partners are allowed to have sexual or romantic connections outside the primary relationship.

Relationship anarchy (RA): An approach that treats all relationships as equally valuable and does not organise them into fixed categories or hierarchies. Each connection is negotiated individually.

Solo polyamory: A form of polyamory in which someone has multiple relationships but deliberately has no primary or nesting partner, maintaining their independence.

Polyfidelity: A closed polyamorous group in which everyone only has intimate relationships within the group.

Triad / throuple: A relationship between three people who are all connected to each other.

Quad: A constellation of four people.

Swinging: A form of non-monogamy in which couples, typically, consensually exchange partners for sexual activities.

People and roles

Metamour: Your partner’s partner, with whom you yourself do not have a relationship. One of the most central terms in the community.

Polycule: The entire network of people connected to each other through relationships.

Hinge: The person in a V-shaped structure who has two partners who are not together with each other.

Nesting partner: A partner you live with – regardless of whether that relationship is considered “primary”.

Primary / secondary partner: Terms from hierarchical polyamory describing different levels of priority among relationships. In relationship anarchy these labels are deliberately rejected.

Unicorn: Often used humorously in the community for a (usually bisexual) person willing to join an existing couple on equal terms – rare and idealised, hence “unicorn”.

Feelings and dynamics

Compersion: The joy you feel when your partner is happy with someone else. Often described as the opposite of jealousy.

Jealousy: In polyamorous relationships, not a taboo but a signal to be taken seriously and communicated.

NRE (New Relationship Energy): The intoxicating high at the beginning of a new relationship. It can briefly overshadow existing relationships – useful to know so you can course-correct.

Mono/poly: A relationship in which one person is monogamous and the other is polyamorous.

Agreements and concepts

Consent: The foundation of every ethical non-monogamous relationship. Everyone involved knows what is happening and agrees to it.

Agreements: The arrangements a polycule makes together – around safer sex, time, communication, and pace.

Veto: A (controversial) arrangement in which one partner can block a new relationship of the other.

DADT (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell): An arrangement in which additional relationships are permitted but not discussed.

Safer sex agreement: Arrangements within a polycule around sexual health and STI protection.

Check-in: A regular conversation to clarify how everyone is doing and whether existing agreements still fit.

From vocabulary to practice

Knowing the terms is one thing – living them day to day is another. Things like safer sex agreements, important dates for metamours, or the question of which connection currently needs some attention are hard to manage purely in your head. Roster helps you keep all of that in one private, locally stored place – including a map of your polycule. No account, no tracking.

Common questions

What is the difference between a metamour and a polycule? A metamour is a single person (your partner’s partner). A polycule is the entire network of all connected people.

Is compersion a requirement in polyamory? No. Compersion is a wonderful feeling, but not a duty. Many polyamorous people feel compersion sometimes and jealousy other times – both are normal.

What does ENM stand for? ENM stands for ethical non-monogamy – consensual relationships that are deliberately not limited to a single person.